In my opinion and also in my experience, spiritual bypassing and the spiritual narcissist go hand in hand and are very good bedfellows (or evil ones to be more precise).

It’s a subject that is actually quite difficult to write about because of the insidious and clever nature of the psychology behind it.

Imagine a person who is very well versed in spiritual practices, knows the lingo to make it appear they have done tons of work on themselves and displays a seemingly compassionate and kind nature.

However spend any length of time with this person then you will start to see a very different picture. The complete absence of light will soon become glaringly obvious.

Unfortunately though the spiritual narcissist will already have you woven in their web of deceit and smoke and mirrors behaviour. Along with having you believe that you have done NO work on yourself whatsoever (despite your belly and intuition screaming at you to run a freaking mile). And that in actual fact it’s YOU (not them) that has all the issues of anger, projection problems, emotional instability etc etc. You get the picture.

All this is deeply traumatising for the empath or highly sensitive person, and believe you me it can take months to recover from this type of abusive relationship.

The usual narrative around this sort of dynamic is that “you have done nothing wrong” “it’s really bad luck to have been in that situation” “you didn’t deserve any of that” etc. In actual fact these relationships are often the ones that are needed to show us where our deepest unhealed wounds lie.

So before you shoot me down in flames for saying all this, can we take a look at how this type of relationship can help you to deeply heal. And I mean REALLY heal whereby the core wounds are worked through, FELT and moved through, until there’s no more triggers of early childhood traumas.

Only in this way will you be able to attract a true Soul mate relationship, where there’s no more competing, undermining, belittling, name calling and all the other tricks that they use. It will be a peaceful and natural connection where you can both grow together in true spiritual union.

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Caroline Hallowes Therapeutic Life Coach specialising in Soul work, narcissistic abuse recovery and deep change.